love and confusion

My heart is starting to heal,
The damage was not done by another,
But done by my inability to be alone,
The damage was done by me,
Not seeing what was in front of me,
My body feels less hurt,
Isn't is crazy how love can make you feel physical pain?
Why and how is that possible?
To feel love and when it goes away what is left in its wake is physical pain,
Physical exhaustion from love, jealousy, anger,
That can't be love?
Love is not anger, or is it? Love is not jealousy, or is it?
Love is all that and more,
I wish I knew so I could remember if it was love or not?
I think about it and become more confused!
Is love negative or positive?
Is it the way you feel or how another feels?
That describes the love,
Someday I will feel real love so I will know if this was real or not.